Published by Scholastic Press on March 28th 2017
Genres: humor, paranormal, Young Adult
Source: the publisher
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A novel of love and monsters.
Sisters Esme, Katy, and Ronnie are smart, talented, and gorgeous, and better yet . . . all three are witches. They have high school wired until the arrival of two new students. The first is Norman, who is almost eight feet tall and appears to be constructed of bolts and mismatched body parts. Despite his intimidating looks, Esme finds herself strangely -- almost romantically -- drawn to both his oversized brain and oversized heart.
The second new arrival is Zack, an impossibly handsome late transfer from the UK who has the girls at school instantly mesmerized. Soon even sensible Esme has forgotten Norman, and all three sisters are in a flat-out hex war to win Zack. But while the magic is flying, only Norman seems to notice that students who wander off alone with Zack end up with crushed bones and memory loss. Or worse, missing entirely.
Hearts & Other Body Parts is a wickedly addictive novel about love, monsters, and loyalty. And oh yeah, a Japanese corpse-eating demon cat.
I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
Hearts and Other Body Parts is a B-movie of a book. It’s terrible. The characters are flat and stereotypical. They have their roles and they stick to them. All of the characters act in silly ways with simple, poorly defined motivations. The villain is cartoonish and all the adults in town are clueless.
Needless to say, it’s hilarious.
Esme, Katy and Ronnie are sisters and witches. Each of them have different strengths. Esme is the smart one, Ronnie is the pretty one and Katy is best at spells. They live an idyllic life with their father and absent mother. Then Norman Stein moves to town. His full name is Frank N. Stein but he goes by his middle name for obvious reasons. He has a genetic condition that has resulted in many surgeries. He still has the bolts in his neck from the last one. He may look like a monster but he is actually a gentle giant genius. He becomes close with the sisters until Zakary moves to town. Zakary’s pale complexion and irresistible nature has all the girls chasing him. You can guess what happens next.
Esme and Norm are perfect together and Ronnie and Katy are just a mess. Zack was a perfect caricature of evil; all smile and no substance. Despite being predictable, this book was a great read. It’s fast and silly and fun. You want to read this after something heavy when you need a book that doesn’t take itself seriously.
This is for fans of Sharknado and other terrible movies. If you love laughing at ridiculousness, this book is for you.
About the Author
I studied English Literature at the University of Maryland, College Park. I also have some background in Eastern religions. After college I moved to Japan, where I taught ESL. I married a beautiful Japanese woman named Yasuko, moved to LA and taught junior high school English, ESL, and Japanese for the Los Angeles Unified School district. I am conversational in Japanese, but by no means consider myself fluent. After serving my debt to society in LA Unified, I went into the fashion business with my wife, who is a very talented fashion designer and is likely to read this, so I can’t say enough good things about her. We eventually branched into the vintage kimono business. I probably know more about Japanese textiles than any straight white man you’re likely to encounter. I’ve been writing humor for FUNNY TIMES since 2010. I currently live in West Sonoma County with my family and an assortment of furry beasts.
Follow the Tour
3/20/2017- Adventures of a Book Junkie– Interview
3/21/2017- Here’s to Happy Endings– Review
3/22/2017- BookHounds YA– Guest Post
3/23/2017- YA Books Central– Review
3/24/2017- Tales of the Ravenous Reader– Interview
3 winners will receive a finished copy of HEARTS & OTHER BODY PARTS, US Only.